I Miss You
by BookGirl13
Summary: Remus ponders Sirius's betrayal. Mention of RemusxSirius.


**Author's Note:**

**A little drabble for you all. Song belongs to Ed Sheeran and the Characters belong to JK Rowling.**

**Enjoy! :)**

_Shock, horror, I'm down  
Lost, you're not around  
There's a lump in my chest that  
Sends cold through my head and  
My mind shuts sound out  
I'm on autopilot  
And my tongues gone silent  
Just switch it off and lay it down  
Lay it down, next to me_

There are so many emotions l could use to describe how I feel now. I was shocked, horrified, and slightly disappointed. I can barely hold back the tears threatening to leave my eyes. How could he? First he abandons me, and accuses me of being the traitor, and now this. He went and blew up half a muggle street killing Peter, and 13 muggles! I knew he was off his rocker, but I never suspected he would give them up! THEY WERE HIS FAMILY! He had said it thousands of times, and he gave them up to the darkest wizard in London! Why would he do that? Sirius had always been so sweet, well as sweet as an asshole like him could be. He was the best lover I ever had, but he was more than that he was my best friend. Hell, James wasn't always supportive of our relationship, but he cared about the both of us. I wish I could just lie down, and shut myself off. I needed the mental break, but now I had funeral arrangements to make. How could he do this? Why would he hurt them?  
_  
I don't know when I lost my mind  
Maybe when I made you mine  
Wooooohhh ohhhhh  
I don't know when I lost my mind  
Maybe it was every time  
That you said, you said, you saaaaaid  
That I miss you  
That I miss you_

I still remember the day we got together. He was messing around in the Gryffindor common room, while I was doing his homework, and he decided to put his head in my lap. His eyes were shining up at me in that seductive way he did to girls to get them alone. His question seemed innocent enough though… "Remus, do you like me?" "You're my best mate of course I like you!" That was when I realised he meant it in a different way, a more loving way. He seemed a bit let down after my answer, but he didn't give up. "Will you go out with me Remus?" The question had thrown me off, but I said yes, and all the while my heart fluttered with joy and made me blush . Then our relationship was steady from there. The summer of 6th year I got a letter from him every day saying he missed me, and sometimes I would get more than one, but they were always there.

_These words mean nothing to me  
I'm just in on a fence of how it used to be  
These three words, are aching  
Constrict them, suffocating  
My mind is racing  
With the picture I'm painting  
And my belly's sick to its stomach  
When I remember all the times he was with you_

Then that letter came in, the one saying he ran away to James's house. I was enraged, but I was more than that I was heartbroken. I told him if he had ever needed somewhere to go that he should come here, and he didn't listen. I hated him for it, and ignored him until we got on the train, and all I said to him then was that I wouldn't speak to him. He kept pestering me about it though, drowning me in pools of sweet nothings, and I love you's. The words meant nothing to me, but I finally gave in a week later and talked to him, but from then until Christmas break of 7th year those words meant nothing. That's when he asked to spend Christmas Break with me. That's when everything changed between us. We shared something special, but it didn't last long, because when break was over he left me to pine after James. Not only did he leave me but he left for a man who would never love him in the way that I did.

_When you laid it dowwwn  
When you laid down, next to me_

_I don't know when I lost my mind  
Maybe when I made you mine  
Wooooohhh ohhhhh  
I don't know when I lost my mind  
Maybe it was every time  
That you said, you said, you saaaaaid  
That I miss you, more than I let on  
I kissed you, far too long  
I'll let go, as soon as you do  
See I know, we're not through_

He made me lose my mind. I knew it would happen the second I said yes. I swear that boy drove me wild, but I loved him. I never told him I loved him and now I'll never have the chance. I have to know why he did it. I wish I could ask him. Then I could know, and then I could tell him. Those three words could finally leave my lips. Those three words that I had never shared with him, words that could have changed so much. I'll never let go of those feelings, I never shared, but have shown thousands of times. But my worry is slowly fading, because I know he'll get out. I know he'll find me one day, and when he does I'll tell him.

_I don't know when I lost my mind  
maybe when I made you mine  
Wooooooah ohhhhhh  
I don't know when I lost my mind  
Maybe it was every time  
That you said, you said, you saaaaid  
That I miss you  
That I miss you  
Wooooaahhh_

_I don't know when I lost my mind  
Maybe it was every time  
That you said, you said, you saaaaaaid  
That I miss you_

I'll tell him. "I love you..."

**THE END**

**Author's Note:**

**What did you think? R&R**

**I liked writing this and I hope you enjoy reading it.**


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